NSPCC: Advice on how to talk to your child about bullying

If you have a school-age child, you’ll likely be aware of the mix of emotions a new academic year can bring.

The start of term time can be exciting, potentially offering your child the opportunity to learn new things, experience a new environment and make and catch up with friends.

The new term can be daunting and various aspects of school life can cause stress (Image: NQ)

However, it can also be daunting, with various aspects of school life capable of causing stress.

It’s something that children’s charity the NSPCC knows all too well.

According to a spokesperson for the organisation, while many children in the South West will be excited to return to their classrooms, friends and lessons, some may feel uneasy about going back to school.

They might feel sad that their summer holiday has ended, and they might be worried about bullying, challenging studies or their new daily routine.

How to help your child

“In such circumstances, there are things that parents and carers can do to help,” the spokesperson said.

“Talking to your child about school, even if they feel ok, is always a good way to let them know that you are there to listen to any worries that they might have.

“The first days of the new school year may seem daunting, and so it’s important to remind them that it can take time to readjust to the school environment after a break.

“Reassure them that they have support and suggest they write a list of things they like about school, followed by things that concern them.

“Talk them over and discuss ways they can cope with each worry.

“Writing down worries can be a positive first step as it helps them to visualise their problems and helps parents know how their child is feeling too.

“Preparation can also help calm their nerves, so being in bed at a reasonable time the night before and having their uniform and equipment ready can avoid extra anxiety in the morning before school.”

The spokesperson encouraged caregivers to ask their child about their day at school, but added that they should try not to push them too hard.

“Even as adults, we just don’t feel like talking at times, and it can be the same for children,” they said.

“But be patient, as they may want to talk at some point.

“By having regular, open and honest conversations, you can offer them reassurance and a safe place to turn to if they’re worried.

“They could also talk to another trusted family member or teacher about their concerns, and our Childline service is also here.

“Childline is free and confidential, and available 24/7 via phone and online, with dedicated counsellors ready to listen to any child with any worry or concern.

“Our Childline counsellors are available to speak to on 0800 1111 and online at childline.org.uk.”

What can you do if your child is being bullied?

Bullying is intentional behaviour that hurts another (Image: Danny Lawson/PA Wire)

According to the NSPCC, bullying is intentional behaviour that hurts another. It can take different forms.

It could include:

• Physical bullying, like slapping, hitting or pushing someone
• Verbal bullying, like gossiping, name-calling or threatening somebody
• Non-verbal abuse, which can include text messages or hand signs
• Controlling or manipulative behaviour
• Spreading rumours
• Ignoring or isolating someone

Cyberbullying, meanwhile, is bullying that occurs online and can include:

• Sending threatening or abusive texts
• Creating and sharing embarrassing images or videos
• Trolling

While no single sign will indicate for certain that a child is being bullied, caregivers are advised to watch for signs like physical injuries, belongings getting ‘lost’ or damaged and a change in behaviour.

Four tips on talking to your child about bullying

An NSPCC spokesperson has four tips for caregivers when it comes to talking to their child about bullying - choose the right time, listen and reassure, help them get their feelings out and get more advice if required.

The NSPCC has four tips for talking to your child about bullying (Image: David Jones/PA Wire)

“Make sure you can give your child your full attention,” they said.

“They might feel more comfortable talking in the car when you’re not looking directly at them, or they might prefer to do it at home.

“Be led by how they’re feeling.”

The spokesperson added: “Remain calm, even if you’re upset or angry. Your child might be feeling scared or embarrassed.

“You can help them respond to what’s happening in a way that feels right to them.

“Some children respond well to having a journal to draw or write their feelings in.

“This can be useful if they’re confused or ashamed about what’s happening.

“If you want more in-depth advice, you can use our advice on talking about difficult topics.

“If they don't want to talk to you, suggest they chat with another trusted adult, such as a teacher or family member.

“You could also suggest they contact Childline.”

According to the spokesperson, caregivers should remind their child that the bullying isn’t their fault and that they are loved and valued, as well as help them find things to do that make them feel good.

“If your child is being bullied by someone they’re at school with, you can talk to the school,” they said.

“It doesn't matter whether the bullying is happening on the premises, outside or online.

“When you’re aware that bullying is happening, the first person to contact should be the class teacher, form tutor, head of year or house tutor.

The spokesperson said that caregivers should arrange a meeting about the bullying, offering advice like bringing any evidence of the bullying with them, making it clear they expect a response to help resolve it, asking what action the school will take and arranging a date to speak to the school again so they can see what progress has been made.

If the bullying continues, the spokesperson added, caregivers should ask whether they can arrange another meeting to discuss what’s happening.

“If this doesn’t sort things, follow the school’s complaint policy and consider writing a letter of complaint to the headteacher,” they said.

“Continue to keep a record of the incidents with as much information as you can.”

There is different guidance on further action depending on the kind of school your child attends.

There are also practical measures you can take if the bullying has happened online, like reporting anyone bullying your child to the platform where it has taken place.

For more advice, go to nspcc.org.uk